


Parallels

by 0418_r



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, F/M, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Mentions of Sex, Romance, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-06-10 11:32:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15290625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/0418_r/pseuds/0418_r
Summary: Jiwon doesn’t get attached and Y/n knew that.





	1. I only say the truth

_Jiwon was a fuckboy. And you knew that._

It's been almost two years since Y/n moved to the apartment. When she arrived, Hanbin, Yuji and Jiwon already lived there and she took the place of another friend of them that went on a exchange program. At the beginning she was afraid she would feel outcasted but they welcomed her warmly and with time, all four became very close. 

Hanbin was gentle and focused but was always trying to put up a bad boy facet that (almost) everyone believed in. Yuji was was sloppy, lazy and unpretentious in the most adorable way possible. Everything she did seemed to be a path to disaster but her charisma would always win. And Jiwon was transparent as a glass. He was sweet but at the same time, ruthless. He seemed quiet at first glance but his ability to relate to others was immense. He loved his friends, that was clear. But in addition, he was extremely devious and confident, traits that some hated and others loved. In the case of girls, it was the latest.  

Jiwon was a fuckboy. Y/n knew it and every girl at the campus also knew it but for some illogical reason beyond her comprehension, they would still get involved with him. He wasn't a complete jerk that prevented people from liking him or being his friend. He'd always let his intentions clear and be brutally honest about everything, never getting attached to anyone while  _attaching himself to everyone_. He was the type of guy that Y/n would usually find to be a jerk but maybe for knowing him in completely different circumstances, she was found of him.

-

"Good morning" a voice came from her back. When she looked, it was a complete stranger with a sweet smile, "good morning" she responded, having absolutely no idea who she was but pretty much knowing she's with Jiwon.  A minute later, Jiwon comes out and gives his good mornings while displaying a shy smile to Y/n, that gave one in return.

"I'll be leaving now. Call me?" she smiled to him, gesturing a phone.

"Sure" Jiwon responded while opening the door.

"Is that coffee I see?" he asked.

"Yes, do you want some?" Y/n offered.

"Thank you" he flashed his bunny teeth and Y/n giggled while shaking her head for his cynicism about the situation. After that She quickly left to uni and promised that she'd go watch him play at night. 

Each one of them had their own routine. Y/n went to her classes in the morning and in the afternoon she worked at the archiving department from University. Hanbin had a part-time job in the morning, classes in his afternoons and took the nights to compose or go to musical events in the city. Jiwon studied in the mornings and worked in a record store until late nights, playing twice a week at the campus radio as a DJ. And finally, Yuji, that was already graduated, worked in a office all day and took her nights and weekends to sleep and see her boyfriend. 

This semester was incredibly dull to Y/n. The classes weren't exciting and everybody was super busy, barely being able to meet. Surprisingly her dull job at the University's library was quite exciting as unlikely as that might seem. 

Drowning in books and documents all afternoon was strangely therapeutic to her. All her daily stress was unleashed in the solitude of the enormous file-room, the little laptop, scanner, and headphones that accompanied her since the beginning of the year.

After leaving work, she headed to the store that Jiwon worked. There was Hanbin, Yuji, and other of his close friends. Friday's on "Radio 3" had become one of the hottest spots in the city. The parties were practically infested with college students for it's proximity to the campus and the youthful but vintage vibe of the place. 

Y/n was probably the shyest of the four and despite loving the company of her friends and getting a little tipsy at the end of the week, staying 6 hours grinding at a club was not her first choice. But Jiwon played at least once a month and she tried to show up some times. 

Jiwon was very good at it and while his own productions were going a little slower because of work and school, he paid his bills by playing the music of others and his and Hanbin productions. Besides being best soul friends, Hanbin and Jiwon shared their love for music, and both, in their own way, ran after their dreams.  

Arriving there, Yuji welcomed her with a tipsy smile, handling a beer in her hand,

"Hey love" she exclaimed

"Hey" Y/n responded

"Tired?"

"Pretty much" she chuckled putting the beer away and grabbing a bottle of water at the bar.

"Just stay for a while and then go home."

"Yeah, that's what I'm going to do. Let me say hello to Jiwon" she said and turned around.

"Ok, go there hottie"

"Haha ok" Y/n responded laughing to her drunk friend.

"You're specially hot these days" her friend responded with a silly smile.

"Yuji, control yourself, your boyfriend is right there" she pointed to her boyfriend while he waved backed, laughing.

"I can't!" her friend gestured putting her hands on her heart.

She pulled away from her friend and headed for the cabin to give Jiwon a shy wave, which he returned with a smile.

"You came!"

"I always do"

"Only when forced"

"True" she giggled. "But hey, at least I come every other month, stop being demanding"

"Ok, you're right, it's a honor already"

"Are you thirsty, DJ?" both laughed of how corny that sounded.

"Yes, please." He said while grabbing the water of her hand.

Y/n intentions of staying only a little became a little different as the night go on and she felt like dancing and staying a bit more. 

 _1 am_. "Damn I need to go home" Y/n said out loud.

"Already?" Hanbin asked while dancing with Yuji.

"Yeah, I'm super tired. I'm gonna say goodbye to Jiwon. Bye, loves"

They waved back. 

"Jiwon, I'm leaving now, see you tomorrow!"

"Hey wait, I'm leaving too. The other DJ will take over"

"Do you want me to wait you?"

"Yes, It'll only take a few minutes."

Y/n stood outside for 5 minutes when Jiwon came out and they started to walk towards the bus stop.

"Sorry, I was exhausted."

"It's fine, I'm dead" he laughed with his visible tiredness. "These last weeks have been brutal with the midterms and work but I can't stop playing here, it's the only way I have to share my music"

"You're not paid for playing?"

"No. The owner pays me for my work at the radio, as a cashier, to clean the floor, anyways...but playing is the bonus I have, a opportunity. So even when I'm dead, I play."

"That's good because your set is amazing"

"You don't have to please me, Y/n" he gave a small smile.

"No, I mean it. You're great, both your remixes as your own productions. Don't stop believing" she said while she signed the bus to stop. He gave a coy, thankful smile and both entered the bus and sat at the second to last row of benches.

"And you, what have you been doing?"

"Oh no, my life is not as exciting as yours"

"How's that, what your life has that is not interesting?"

"Everything!" she laughed. "I only study and go to work at the library in the afternoons"

"You don't like it there?"

"To be honest, I love there haha. But it's far from being a crowded club or dreams of being a artist or anything slightly exciting"

"I think everyone has a dream, a path. And if...uhm...-"

"Archiving"

"Archiving is what you like then archiving is exciting because you are exciting"

"Stop it, now who needs to quit trying to please me is you. Not even the famous and coveted Dj Bobby saying that archiving is cool is gonna make archiving cool"

"Maybe?"

"No"

Both giggled loudly.

He cleared his throat and asked "but what do you mean with  _coveted_?"

"That was the word you decided to remember?"

"Yes, explain yourself"

"What do you mean  _explain myself?_   You're the sensation among a lot of the girls at the campus and you know that very well"

He gave a cocky smirk.

"I just think it's unfair for you to be talking about me when you barely comment about your love life"

"What love life?" she giggled while Jiwon stared at her in confusion.

"That's right, while I admit my indiscretion you are so private I almost don't see any of your love conquests"

"Conquests? Jiwon, my love life is as agitated as hers" she stated while pointing at a old lady that was sitting in the first few seats of the bus that looked like she was at least 90 years-old.

"You don't know, maybe she's living the best life. It's 1 am after all"

"Oh my god, you're right, I'm even worse" both laughed uncontrollably earning some bothered looks in the bus.

"But really" he resumed "I find it very hard to believe in that"

"Why?"

"Well, how can I say this"

"What?"

"That's our bus top" 

She got confused until she realized their bus stop has indeed arrived. Both walked in silence for two minutes towards their home until she got curious.

"What were you saying?"

"Nothing"

"Tell me!"

"It's nothing"

"C'moooon"

"I was gonna say that I find it hard to believe that you don't have a love life when you're that hot"

"Jiwon!" she exclaimed while laughing.

"What? You wanted to know" he backed while also laughing.

"Stop messing with me"

"What do you mean by _messing with you_ , girl?"

"I'm not hot"

"You're very hot, gorgeous, A++ so stop being shy about it or I'll keep going" he warned.

She laughed, embarrassed, while both entered the empty apartment.

"That's what you say to all girls?" she mocked him.

"I'm not that lazy and girls don't fall for that, Y/n"

"Sorry" she said, embarrassed by her own statement.

"I usually invite them to see me play, then I take them to the bus stop, we chat and then I compliment them" he spoke while having the most vicious look in his eyes.

Y/n never saw him looking like that to her before.

"Jerk" she murmured while soft smiling. Her hands were getting strangely cold and her heart started to pound. She then rested her body against the kitchen counter and looked again at his eyes. It was pure lust. Her stomach was on fire, she wasn't even trying to understand what was going on.

"Are those compliments usually true?"

He smirked, slowly walking in her direction "I only say the truth"

She slightly bite her lips and softly murmured "I doubt it"

"Don't doubt me" he said while getting too close. Both bodies connected and in a snap of fingers, they began to kiss uncontrollably. It didn't take long until those desperate kisses on the kitchen migrated to his bedroom.

- 


	2. Paralyzed

The next few days were awkward. Y/n was always dodging from Jiwon, who was trying to approach her but didn't know how. Finally he entered her room and asked if they could talk.

"Hello" he waved.

"Hey" she coyly responded.

"So"

"So"

"It's been three days since, you know" he started.

"Yeah"

"Are you avoiding me?"

"Uhm...yeah"

"Why, was it that bad?"

"No! It was nice, it's just, we're friends and-"

"And? Are you embarrassed?"

"Very much" she looked at her hands.

"But why? You were great" he said smiling while sitting on her bed.

_You're a devil, Jiwon._

"I've never done this before"

"Casual sex?"

"No, having sex with a close friend"

"You don't have to be like that, we're still friends, we were just having fun"

"Yeah, I guess you're right" she agreed with him but something inside of her didn't feel quite  _right._ "I'm sorry I was being like that" she smiled and got up to grab a glass of water before bed.

"Actually, I wanted to know if you wanted to do it again" he bluntly said.

"You mean...?" she asked with a confused face.

"Yes" he responded, too casually for such a question, she thought.

"Uhm, I think I do, that's why I was so embarrassed" she confessed.

"We're just having fun, Y/n"

"I know" she said while being pulled for a kiss by him. 

That night they repeated their causal, friendly, sex. And the night after and the one after that and the one after that.

Two weeks had passed and Jiwon and Y/n were regularly being good fuck buddies to each other.

-

Y/n was lying on the bed right after she woke up, slowly opening her eyes. She shifted her body and laid on her side looking at Jiwon while he slept. A strange feeling took a hold of her in the last few days and she didn't know how to handle it. The part of her days that she most expected was when they saw each other. Their bed-dates had moved to small outside dates, like going out for ice cream or seeing some attraction that was in town. And those little dates had become meaningful to her.

Their roommates were already suspicious that something was going on despite their attempts to be discreet, something new to Jiwon, requested by Y/n, but the truth was that she didn't cared anymore. Something seemed very right when she was with him.  
  
Although she had known Jiwon for almost two years, she never remotely had this kind of interaction w/ him. They were friends and they knew each other but what started out as sex for fun opened a door for her to see another Jiwon. Someone adorable, caring and intelligent. Plus extremely charming.  
  
It would be a lie to say that she had never noticed him as a man before but the thought of being together had never crossed her mind.  
  
But now, lying on his bed, she reflected and analyzed her own feelings. The nights they spent fucking were great but the movies they saw together later, the food they shared, the rare dates they went...those were even better. Her mundane days had become delightful days, filled with caresses, desires, and laughter, and her heart beat hard at the thought of that smile. And that worried Y/n.

Something in her heart said he was feeling the same but it had been a month since they were like this and nothing was said about it and that was making her anxious. She needed to talk and be honest with him.

Jiwon slowly moved, stretching and yawning as he looked out from the corner of his eye at Y/n, who was staring at the ceiling as her head was forming knots.

 "Good morning, sunshine" 

 "Good Morning" she responded with a smile. 

 "Sleep well?" 

 "Yes" she stretched.

 "You didn't went to your room in the middle of the night, what a miracle" he said flashing a wicked smile.

 "Yeah, I think our attempts to hide from Hanbin and Yuji were in vain, I can feel them laughing when I step out of a room" 

 "Yes, Hanbin already knows, he told me" 

 "Oh really???" 

 "Yeah, he asked me what was going on," he gestured imitating his friend and stood up laughing towards the bathroom.

 "Uhm, and what did you answer?" she tried to seem uninterested but couldn't.

 "I said it's none of his business"

 "Oh yeah hahah," she laughed. 

 Both fell silent while Jiwon put on a shirt to go eat breakfast until she broke the silence.

 "Jiwon?"

 "Yes," he answered back as he fumbled in his closet.

 "I like you" she let go of it before she could reason, sitting up on bed.

 "I like you too," he replied, chuckling in her direction. 

Her heart was in her mouth. "You ... mean it?" 

He looked in her direction, gave a small, soft smile and nodded while holding a blue shirt. She smiled, getting up and holding his back while he finished folding the shirt.

Maybe she didn't have to be so scared after all.  

-

The next few days were of contemplation. Y/n was doing the same things she was doing in the last month but now, with a lighter heart.

_He likes me._

She still didn't know what that meant but it was bringing her a inexplicable joy. It felt a little surreal.

_Jiwon?_

Of all the people she could be involved with, it was him. What began in the most unpretentious way have come to take over all her thoughts. It was gentle yet exhilarating as he was and hearing those four words just made her happier.

_I like you too._

Today was friday and Jiwon had a freelancer job as a dj at the other side of the town so she decided to meet her friend to dinner, but before she went go home to get ready. When she was finishing bathing, she heard a door sound and put her head out of her room. It was Jiwon, who seemed rushed. 

"Jiwon"

"Hey"

"You're late?"

"Yeah, I just came by to grab some stuff"

"Oh ok...great work then"

"Thank you" he smiled and she smiled back.

He entered his room and came out with a backpack.

"See you tomorrow"

"You're not coming back today?"

"No, I'll sleep at my friend's house that lives near there"

"Oh ok. See ya then!"

He was about to leave when she came out of the room and gave a peck.

He smiled and left.

-

That night was a typical summer night. Hot and windy. Y/n's dinner with her friend was going great. They haven't seen each other in a while and being in the company of someone you like is always nice. Y/n was often afraid of sounding boring talking about her life so she'd always listen and talk about other people's life but this time she had a subject she really wanted to talk about: him. 

She told her friend about what happened and he was surprised since they were friends for a while now but nonetheless happy for her. Her friend, Minjun, was watching her friend while she talked about Jiwon. Her eyes were sparkling and her growing feelings for him were more than visible.

"You're happy." he stated, with a small smile while taking her hands on his.

"Stop" Y/n said, blushing, after realizing how much she spoked about him.

"I'm a little worried though" her friend stated.

"Why?"

"Isn't he the one that never "gets attached"?" he gestured.

"Yeah but I don't think that means necessarily something"

"I wouldn't if he didn't break so many hearts in the process"

"Look, I-" she let go of her friend's hands and gave a sweet smile "this morning I confessed to him"

"You did? What did he say?"

"He said he liked me back"

Minjun gave a small sight of relief and raised his eyebrows to her.

"Good for you both then. I'm really happy to see you so excited" he said, now smiling more relaxed.

Her friend excused himself to go to the toilette and Y/n started to play with her straw while she took small sips from her mango juice. Then, she began to unpretentiously look out the window. Admiring the busy street at night, with car lights brightly shinning, she observed a mother play with her child at the convenience store exit.

Suddenly, something grabbed her attention at the corner of her eyes.

_It was him._

She automatically straighten herself on the chair, preparing to get up and go in the exit's direction when she identifies a female figure next to him. More specifically, under his arms. Her heart fells. It's Jiwon.

She slowly got up without missing the two bodies from her sight. She follows them until they escape her vision. She get out of the restaurant and stay, paralyzed, at the front door. She observes them while they cross the street while intensely laughing at each other. Then, he let her go from his arms and she bent over the ice cream shop balcony that is five stores after where Y/n is. The same shop he took her two weeks before.

While standing there, Jiwon observes the girl silluete and a few moments after she goes back to his arms. They intensely kiss while her hands travel through his neck, holding a small ticket. He grabs her waist with one hand while the other holds her neck.

_Y/n stands there, paralyzed._

The girl pulls from the kiss and returns to the balcony.

_Y/n's ears become numb._

He puts his hands in his pockets.

_Y/n feels a warm breezes in her knees and tears stream without even feeling it._

He brushes his hair from his face and looks at Y/n's direction without any warning. For both.

_She stays there, in the same place. She can't move._

He widened his for a fraction of a moment before looking down and looking at her again. The girls comes back to him and looks in Y/n's direction and then whispers something to him. He got out of his trance and looks at her, who interweaves her hands with his. She pulls him in the opposite direction and goes, giving one last look in Y/n's direction.

_And she stays there,_

_paralyzed._

- 

_I should have known._

She couldn't stop crying. Alone in her room, she was still dressed from her dinner, shoes and all. She couldn't do anything else but cry since she came back. Yuji tried to asked her what happened but she locked herself in her room. Her sobs could be heard from the living room. 

All she could think about was the image of him kissing that girl. 

Her heart ached everytime she was reminded of the recent events by her tricky brain. 

Her cellphone started ringing, it was Minjun.

"Y-Yes" she answered between sobs.

"Y/n, where are you? I was worried sick my god I came back to the table and you weren't there anymore, are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm-so-sorry Minjun"

"What happened?"

"I saw him Minjun, with another girl"

"Oh no" he said on the other side of the line.

"He was kissing her, holding hands, taking her to the same ice cream shop he took me!" she was sobbing without stop.

"I'm so sorry, Y/n"

"No, I deserve it, I do I trusted him when I knew he would end up doing this"

"Of course you don't, how could you know"

"I could! I-I could."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No, I need to be alone"

"Ok. If you need anything, call me" 

She hung up.

That night, she cried herself to sleep. Her whole body experienced a feeling so bad she couldn't move. She was heartbroken. She fell in love and he broke her heart.

The next morning was just as painful. Her body ached and she practically crawled towards the bathroom to take a shower. Her eyes were puffy and red. After her shower, she dressed and sat at the edge of her bed. She stared at the wall for almost a hour until she heard a key sound at the door. "Hi Jiwon" she heard coming from Hanbin that was greeted with silence.

A few seconds later she was surprised by knocks on her door. 

"Y/n, are you there?"

He knocked again and asked again. Y/n didn't have the strength to talk so she got up and opened her door, surprising Jiwon.

Her appearance was terrible and he noticed. Without saying a word she entered the room followed by him, closing the door.

"Y/n, can we talk?"

"What do you want?"

"I want to apologize"

"Apologize?" she chuckled sarcastically "for what?"

"I know what I did was not cool"

"Not cool, Jiwon? Ok, what did you do?"

"I know you saw me"

"Yes, I did"

"I'm sorry"

"What are you apologizing for?" she raised her voice as a tear escaped her eyes.

"Don't cry" he stepped up.

"Dont'! you dare come near me, just answer me"

"I feel like I hurt your feelings"

"Oh, so you knew about my feelings. I thought you forgot our little chat the other day"

"Y/n, I'm sorry but we have never talked about exclusivity"

"Oh my god Jiwon, are you fucking kidding me? How can you be so fucking cruel?" she sobbed.

"You KNEW that I liked you and still, you lied! You said you would be working and whatever other bullshit I swallowed and now you come talking about exclusivity!"

"I'm so sorry Y/n, I never wanted to hurt" he tensed up, dropping his bag on the floor trying to approach her.

"But you did and you knew, Jiwon, you knew I was falling for you, didn't you?" she looked in his eyes and he looked away "How can you do this to me, we were friends you know?"

"We are friends, Y/n! Please I know I screwed up but don't end our friendship like this"

"What friendship? Friends don't lie and hurt the other like that. I liked you, you fucking jerk! Lying about playing at the other side of the city, how could I be so stupid?"

"I didn't want to hurt you"

"So you knew you were hurting me, you just wanted to hide from me so you could keep fucking me at the confort of your home"

"Don't say that" he looked startled.

"Don't try to defend yourself, I don't believe a single word"

"Y/n, I swear I didn't think it would be like this"

"Jiwon, please, please, be honest for once in your life and answer me. When you told me you liked me, were you telling the truth?"

"Of course I was"

"The why did you do that?"

"Y/n I love you but as a friend"

"Oh my god"

"I didn't think you would misunderstand it"

"Stop.fucking.lying! You knew I was being sincere and you fed it, making me believe you reciprocated my feelings to now pretend you didn't knew. You knew it very well if not you wouldn't have lied about where you were going. I'm not stupid, Jiwon, I know I look like I am but I'm not. After going out with so many people you expect me to believe you don't know when someone likes you?"

"I'm sorry Y/n"

"You wanted to keep the stupid girl here at your feet while you'd take other girls to eat ice cream"

"Don't say that, you're not letting me speak"

"Who was she?"

"Don't do that"

"Do you like her?"

"Stop"

She looked at his face like she was appreciating the last sunset of the summer.

"Get out" she pointed to the door.

"We were just having fun, remember?"

"I'm not laughing anymore"

"Y/n"

"Just please, leave Jiwon" 

And he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. :)


	3. First love

**_Y/n POV_ **

I wanted to hate him with every bone in my body. But I couldn't. 

I never thought I would be romantically involved with one of my best friends in this lifetime, specially with him, but the universe doesn't seem to be on my side lately. How did that happened? How can one night can make me fall for Jiwon? Well, at least it started there.

Being with him for the whole month, not as his friend but as something more, really made me happy. He's so kind, so precious. He always was. In these years of friendship, Jiwon was a very good friend, and person, in his own way. He looks careless and relaxed but he's always ready to help the people he likes.

When I first moved in, I was shy and stressed with all the changes that were happening with me and he was one of the most vital people at that moment of my life. Seeing my interest in music, he slowly inserted small talks about it, making me feel more relaxed at the house. Then, seeing how I was always struggling with my money when I first came to this city, he would always share his food with me in discreet ways so I wouldn't notice, but I did.

Yuji and Hanbin came to the picture a bit later, when all of us really connected. But in all this time, he would often take me on walks so we could talk about being homesick since he sensed my troubling feelings. I went to most of his first gigs in town and watched him being happy with the support. He made several playlists throughout this whole time in our stressful school weeks to each of us at the house. 

But all this time of friendship, he was just my friend, this really good friend and now he became the center of my thoughts. And I feel so humiliated by everything. 

If I aloud myself to think about it...Jiwon was my first love. And understanding that only made me even sadder. I had some people in the past that I have liked and got infatuated but to none of them I've open up so much, none of them knew me so well. It felt silly to be so heartbroken because deep down I knew we were friends with benefits through that small period of time but I still couldn't avoid feeling like this.

I even thought that, in reality, I had no right to be feeling betrayed but at the end, what hurt me the most was the absence of caring, in the lack of a better word. No one is obligated to reciprocate feelings but I think that everyone that cares about the other is obligated to be honest.

I opened my heart to him and he gave me a lie in return.

For some stupid reason I never thought he would do that to me. Like, it's me you know. This house is composed by four people that grew to love each other so dearly and that's why is so hard to hate him. I really wanted because he hurt me.

But I couldn't.

It's been almost a month since we had that dramatic talk in my room and that still hunts us, both of us. My brain likes to trick me to only think about the good moments we had but I force myself to think of what I really think of his attitude towards me was: a shitty one.

I fell in love with him and I'm trying really hard to stop, you know, feeling this way. Still not so successful but I'll get there. Hanbin and Yuji respected our distance, that I clearly asked, and none of this subject was discussed in our house but I can feel how bad is making the environment to be. The air is heavy and I feel like staying out as much as I can, for me and the others, but I don't want our house to be like that anymore.

I feel constantly suffocated by my heart, my travelling thoughts, by everytime he steps his foot in or out of the house, by his scent, by his noises or by the thought of where he's sleeping that night.

I need to breath.

_**End of POV** _

\-------------------------------------------

Y/n was walking past the entrance of the campus when she saw Minjun.

"Minjun!" 

He looked over his shoulders and gave a big smile "Y/n!"

"How was the test?" she asked.

"I think I went well" he answered and both walked towards their classes building. 

"How are you doing Y/n?"

"Uhm, not great" she answered with a sad smile "but I'll get better."

"Did he said something else?"

"No and I didn't let him. I just don't know what to do now."

"What are you feeling?"

"I'm still hurt by the whole thing, about how he lied and dismissed my feelings but I can't hate him and that's bugging me, like, everyday."

"Why can't you?"

"Because he's Jiwon"

\-------------------------------------------

Classes were over and Y/n was back at her job in the library. The only place she felt comfortable on that moment. While she was separating the piles of books and spreadsheets, she found a poetry book and while she turned the pages, she found a small *poem about a broken heart. The beginning was something like, 

" _You entered the bedroom and fell to your knees.  
_ _I wait the rest of my life to hear you say, I made a mistake."_

She continued reading, with unexpected tears forming in her eyes, until she reached the end of it, that said,

" _Occasionally you came in out of the rain  
_ _and I was glad to have you."_

She hold the book in her chest while she wiped, alone in that big room, her sobs echoing. She took that book home that day like she needed to examine it more and maybe understand what that meant to her.

_I am hurt and I want to get over him. But I don't want him out of my life._

When she arrived home, she noticed how there was no one there. She grabbed some water from the fridge and headed to her room, enjoying the idea of being alone in there. Sitting at her bed, she noted a folded piece of paper in her stand-table. She grabbed it and opened. 

_"Hey Y/n, it's me, Jiwon._

_I know a handwritten letter sounds very "not me" and believe me, I hesitated a lot before doing this, afraid you wouldn't believe me, but I couldn't find a better way. A text didn't seemed right and I just want the chance to say something before it's too late._

_You have all the right in the world to avoid me and distance yourself from me and you don't need me to tell you that. But since I'm trying to be as honest as I can, I need to say that I acknowledge your reasons completely._

_What I did, lying to you and being careless about your feelings, was shameful. I don't often get called on my bullshit since I'm so upfront about my intentions but I was a asshole with you and I'm afraid with other people too. So for my behavior, I wanted to say I'm really, really, sorry. I never thought I was this person until you showed me how I was, a asshole._

_I'm sorry for harming our friendship, that I cherish a lot. I'm sorry for being a fucking asshole with you. I'd never thought I'd be at this side of the story, as someone who hurt their friend, that hurt you._

_I know you hate me and I'm not asking for forgiveness or second chances but I'm being selfish by apologizing and getting this out off my chest._

_Sorry again Y/n,_

_Jiwon."_

\----------------------------------------------------

She was lying in her bed in her pajamas when she heard the opening and closing of the front door followed by the opening and closing of the room beside hers, Jiwon's room. She got up and put her hands at the doorknob, taking a deep breath before getting our of her room and knocking on his door.

She gave three soft knocks with no answer, so she decided to open it anyway. He was taking his coat, facing his window.

"Jiwon" she softly spoke and he immediately turned her way.

"Y/n" he said, surprised, while shoving his beg off his bed.

"I...I've read your letter. You're right, I've never thought you'd be delivering one for me."

"I thought you'd think that" he gave a small nervous smile.

She was in silent, staring at him for a few minutes with a enigmatic expression.

"I can't hate you, Jiwon" she whispered.

"You should" he said with a sad expression.

"I know, I'm trying, trust me" she responded a sadder one.

"Y/n" he murmured, letting a tear skip.

"But I don't think I can. My broken heart was consuming me but our friendship screamed more than how terrible you can be as my first love"

He couldn't control the sobs after hearing that and she sat in the bed beside him. Both looked at his big window, the larger of the house, coming from the ground to the ceiling. All roommates envied his room but drawing straws needs to be respected. 

"I'm so sorry" he said.

"I know. Look, I'll do my best to forgive and forget and you'll do your best to be the Jiwon you used to be with me ok? Deal?" 

"Why are you forgiving me?" he looked at her, sincerely asking.

"Because I'm glad to have you in my life and I want to stay that way"

He just looked at her trying to figure out what that meant.

"Ok, I have some conditions though. Are you willing to accept it?"

"Yes"

"Ok, the first one is: you can't never treat me differently. I'm your friend, I want to be treated as your friend and that's it."

"I can do that"

"Second: you'll not hurt me again.Well, at least try harder"

"Yes."

"And third: we're not gonna talk about it, I mean, what happened, my messy feelings, etc."

"You're feelings weren't messy"

"I said, let's not talk about it"

"Ok"

"Then deal"

"Deal."

She smiled, unexpected tears forming. She wiped them off and stood up to leave the room.

"Y/n?"

"Yes"

"Thank you so much for giving me another chance"

She smiled back.

So, like that, they friendship began to flourish again. Days of shy  _hello_ 's turned into small talks, that turned into movie nights and sharing meals again, realizing almost 4 months have passed.

Jiwon made a lot of effort to be present, be respectful and patient and it all worked out. They seemed to be very close again.

Yuji could barely see any difference then how it was before. Y/n would laugh with and around Jiwon, that would comfortably reciprocate. Their music talks and movie week nights were on again as well as her coming to the record store to see him play. All that discreet tension, like when four months ago Y/n couldn't be at the same room as Jiwon, was completely gone. 

Yuji was happy to have her best friends again. They've returned to their usual brightness and joy, a little less Jiwon, that was constantly working in multiple shifts that last month.

Jiwon didn't bring any of the woman he was involved with anymore in the last 5 months and that made him often sleep out at the beginning, which decreased drastically in those last months.

"I think Jiwon is more mindful with girls after all that happened, don't you think?" Yuji asked to Hanbin.

"What do you mean?" Hanbin answered, both not diverting their eyes from the TV screen.

"I mean, he hasn't bought any girl here in like, ages"

Hanbin gave a quick look to Yuji and looked back at the tv. "It's not like that"

"I think it is, I don't think it's only his work" she answered putting her hair in a ponytail.

"Me neither" Y/n said, coming out of behind the couch.

"Oh my god you scared me" Yuji jumped on the sofa.

"Sorry" she gave a shy smile and slided to Hanbin's side.

"I'm sorry I just made a observation" Yuji was a little embarrassed.

"No, I've been thinking about that too" Y/n affirmed, giving a look to both of them.

"Really?" Hanbin looked at her back.

"Yeah, I feel like he's still holding back and to be honest, that's making me a little uncomfortable"

"Why?" Hanbin asked.

"Because I feel like everything is back to normal, after I dragged you all into my drama" she timidly looked at both and than her hands "I feel completely free from him now and I wish he would just, go back to normal too, you know?"

"Maybe he just have other stuff in his mind" Hanbin answered with a serious expression.

"Who has other stuff in his mind?" Jiwon came back from work and inserted himself on the evening couch conversation.

"Oh my god why are y'all like ghosts?" Yuji complained with a racing heart.

"Only when we're gossiping" Y/n answered, giggling.

"You guys were gossiping?" Jiwon asked with a wicked smile.

"Not exactly. It's something I've been meaning to talk to you" Y/n stood up and got a little more serious.

"What is it?" he looked attentive.

"Aren't you going to bring girls here anymore?" Y/n asked, blurting it out like that.

"What?" Jiwon answered with a confused face.

"I'm sorry to intrude like that" Y/n started to play with her hands.

"I don't understand" he continued with a more confused face.

"It's just that, I know you've stopped bringing people here because of what happened but everything's over and buried and it feels weird to me now, I don't know"

"I'm sorry to make you uncomfortable" he answered with a serious tone.

"No! It's just...be the old Jiwon with the girls and going out and stuff and please don't worry about me, ok? I'm really fine now."

"The old Jiwon?" a weird chuckle left his lips.

"Yeah, you know, how you always was. Anyway, sorry for making everyone uncomfortable, i'm going to sleep now, good night" she awkwardly smiled and waved while doing a small run to her bedroom.

Jiwon, at the other side, stood there, with a serious expression on his face, a almost  _hurt_ oneat the hallway and a few seconds later, he excused himself with a dry "good night."

Yuji and Hanbin only observed the overly awkward interaction. After Jiwon left, Hanbin turned his face to the TV again with a concerned countenance. Yuji stayed quiet, watching TV together with Hanbin until minutes later, when she decided to talk.

"He's weird" she sighed.

"Leave him be" he answered.

She examine his tense face and posture. Why Hanbin looked so nervous surrounding this subject even if it wasn't exactly his subject?

"Are you hiding something from me?" she asked.

"What, Yuji?"

"Is there something you know that I don't know?"

"No, I'm just saying"

"Bullshit, I know you too well. What are you hiding from me, huh?"

"Nothing"

"Hanbin!"

"Shhh, lower your voice, they can hear you"

"I'll not hush until you tell me what you know"

"I can't" he turned his face to her and stood up to go to his bed.

"Haaanbiiin" she grabbed his hands when he got up.

"Yuji!"

"What happened Hanbin?"

"He's in love with her."

"WHAT?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * the quoted poem is "Our Many Never Endings" by Courtney Queeney.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading it!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! :)


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